Laughing on the job

I love my students. I have taught a wide variety of ages, from 5 to 40 years old.  Almost all of them make a conscious effort to talk to me and participate in my lessons which I appreciate wholeheartedly. But sometimes, their attempts to speak English properly, just crack me up. Since its Monday and we could all do with a laugh or two, here are a few conversations from my classroom time here in Korea:

-The day before I wrote an exam:

Me: “I have a test tomorrow. What should I do?”
Student: “You should go to club and dance with a handsome boy.

– Me: “Who can use window in a sentence?”
Student: “Please open the window.”
Me: “Someone already said that sentence.”
Student: “Hmmm please close the window.”
Me: “Already said.”
Student: “…..I want to buy Windows XP!”

– Student: “Teacher why didn’t you run last week?” (Sports Day was last week)
Me: “Oh I guess I’m getting a little old haha.” (I was joking here- I’m 23)
Student: “I agree.”

– Me: “Who can make a sentence with ‘pleasure'”
Student: “My pleasure!”
Me: (me and the class laughing) “A longer sentence?”
Student: “Not my pleasure!”

– Me: “One of our vocabulary words is ‘look’…who can make a sentence with it?”
Student: “I’m looking for a pretty girl.”

– Me: “Who can use ‘book’ in a sentence?”
Student: “I like books.”
Me: “Ok…what is your favorite book?”
Student: “Facebook.”

– Me: “So where is the pharmacy?”
Students: “Next to the bakery!”
Me: “And who can tell me what they will buy at the drugstore?” (The answer is bandages)
Student: “Good drugs not bad drugs.”

– One vocabulary word was “paint”:

Me: “Who knows paint what paint is, and can also use it in a sentence?”
Student: “I like to smell paint.”
Me: “Do what?”
Student: “I like smell of paint.”
Me: “Are you sure?” (class is laughing)
Student: “Yes.”

– Me: “Who can use star in a sentence?”
Student: “I am a star like a celebrity.”
Me: “Why are you a star?”
Student: “Because I have all the bling bling!”

– Me: “Who can use star in a sentence? Very easy one…”
Student: “I am a superstar.”
Me: (laughing) “Ok what is your superstar name?”
Student: “Psycho.”

– Me: “What would you do if you were rich?”
Student: (after thinking for some time)”…Sleep.”

– After teaching directions:

Me: “When do we use the word stop?”
Student: “Stop damn it!!”

– “Oh teacher! You…me…chicken! I take you for chicken, you give me good grade.”

– A dialogue created by grade 3 students:
A: “I’m upset because my fish is died.”
B: “Why don’t you cook it?”

– Last year while saying goodbye to my students, one of them wanted to keep in touch with me, so she said, “teacher, goodbye. Please touch me.”
I burst out a giggle 🙂

-When taking a quick walk around the school to stretch my legs after an afternoon of lesson planning :
Student: “Teacher, what are you doing?”
Me: “Just taking a walk.”
Student: “But why teacher, you’re not fat?”

– “Teacher, are you married? If not, don’t worry. Every Jack has his Jill”

-I was walking down the street to the bus stop. I get a tap on the shoulder from a student:

Him: Hey Teacher, you’re good looking.
Me: Thanks, you too.
Him: I know.

– Me : “What’s a word for a mother chicken?”
Student : “DELICIOUS!”

– “Oh Teacher! You’re hair is like Lion King!”

– “Teacher you look very good today, what’s wrong?”

– “Teacher… you have BIG eyes! Like REALLY big eyes! Almost TOO BIG!”

-Me: Let’s begin! Any questions?
Student: Teacher has nose job?

– Teacher: “I just need your brain.”
Student: “I have no brain.”

– Me: Do you remember where in Africa I’m from?
Student: Scotland!
Me:  ???

– Me: “Would you like to come to my party?”
Student: “No!!!”
Me: “Oh, well fine I didn’t want you there anyway…” (with exaggerated acting and melodramatic voice)
Student: “Ah, wait, no! No! Yes I want to come to your party! Yes! Yes!”

-Asking students to review new phrases in the book….

Me: “Repeat after me…what’s up?”
Students: “What’s up?”
Me: “Who knows what “what’s up” means?”
Random Student: “What’s up baby?!”

Me: “Who can use “cousin” in a sentence?”
Student: “My name is Cousin.”

-Teaching a short segment on “What Country Would You Like to Visit and Why?” Here is one student’s answer:

Me: “Ok so anyone want to tell me what country they would like to visit? Ok yes you can go first.”
Student: “The country I want to visit is Germany because then I can be a Hitler!”
Me: “……Wow.”

So this particular class had just had a pizza party from the Korean teacher because they did well on their vocabulary test.

I walk in and see two pieces left. I say “Ohhh pizza. Can I have some?”

Student: “Teacher, you can have pizza if we play game for whole class. No game, no pizza for you.”

How nice.

– “Excuse me, but are you Indian Species?”

– While playing Simon Says with my little kids, I said “Simon Says punch the sky”. A student proceeded to punch a student in the face…
…The attacker thought I said “Simon Says, punch this guy,” because apparently while I was saying it I was looking at the poor student who got punched….

– “Teacher good morning!! My friend here looks like jungle gorilla.”

Happy Monday!! 😀


17 thoughts on “Laughing on the job

  1. I love all of it, but here are some of my faves…
    – “Oh Teacher! You’re hair is like Lion King!”
    – “Teacher, are you married? If not, don’t worry. Every Jack has his Jill”
    Me: “Why are you a star?”
    Student: “Because I have all the bling bling!”
    In conclusion, this deserves a reblog. Happy Monday and thanks for the giggles!

  2. Reblogged this on a physical perspective and commented:
    I just had to reblog this amazingly fun post from my blogger pal Aneesa over at “Live. Explore. Learn. Remember.”

    I love every student/teacher interaction, but here are some of my faves…

    “Oh Teacher! Your hair is like Lion King!”

    “Teacher, are you married? If not, don’t worry. Every Jack has his Jill”

    Me: “Why are you a star?”
    Student: “Because I have all the bling bling!”

    Too many adorable moments not to share with you all. Happy Monday!

  3. Pingback: More laughs in the classroom | Live. Explore. Learn. Remember.

  4. this post made me laughed while preparing questions for my students exam this month. great post. love the kids’ smile.
    “no game, no pizza.” lol.

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